Calorie count: 136 (pass)
Carb count: 21g (pass)
Sugar count: 6g (pass)
Total exercise: 1.5 hours walking/jogging
Calories burnt: At least 333
Total calories burned (excluding natural metabolism): 197
So...
My plans for the day did not really
go as expected. I did go out for my jog, and it was fairly decent. I keep
running into this woman who brings the cutest dog in the world with her for her
walks. It's some sort of German Shepard/Australian Shepard/Chow mix. And it's awesome.
Only problem is: it's not very sociable or welcoming to strangers. The woman
told me I couldn't pet her simply because it would probably growl or try to
bite me. Anyways, I'm getting off track. After my jog I came home and got ready
to meet my appointment. It was only supposed to last an hour or so, possibly
less, but it ended up dragging out almost till evening. So most of my day was
shot. I finally came home (starving of course, and still without my green tea)
and my mom had once again fired up the new indoor grill. I ended up gorging
myself on the strawberries, but managed to get away with only a few pieces of
asparagus. It should have been the other way around, but they were taking too
long and I didn't have my green tea and huuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrggggghhhhh... And
then the glorious moment arrived when I finally left to get some green tea. And
I stocked up. Yee-fucking-haw. I know now that I am completely dependent on
this green tea to fill me up and keep me from continuously nibbling on fruits
like strawberries and grapes. Which is a habit I am starting to form that needs
to stop. With a Boca Burger I make one and once it’s gone, it’s gone. With
grapes, I can keep eating "just one more". I know my weight will go
up from today (then again, seeing the track record recently I'll end up being
fucking 109 lbs. or something ridiculous) but at least I finally have my green
tea. I can keep all hunger at bay.
Even though I'm still disappointed
in myself for all the strawberries today, I'm also kind of proud of myself for
controlling my eating in other aspects. I didn't once have cereal or rice cakes
or calorie high fruits, even when I very much wanted to (and not just
today). In fact, I seem to be restricting my choices more and more each day.
Keeping myself within the calorie limit I set for myself is easy, requires no
effort or thought whatsoever, but keeping myself in the carb count requires
work. Exercise is a whole 'nother ball of wax I need to improve upon...but I
won't bore you with my inadequacies any longer.
I know I won't hit 110 lbs. by July
1st (I've made too many mistakes) but I'm still going to try.
I apologize for the dull, chatty,
randomness of this post. I'm tired (but not sleepy of course, oh insomnia how I
adore you -_-) and listless and feel the need to write something, but have
absolutely nothing of value to write.
"Tired" is the perfect
word to describe me right now (and most of the time). I'm tired. Tired of not
being perfect. Tired of work. Tired of my entire situation. Tired of who I am.
Tired of existing. Just very, very, very tired...
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