Grilling Shenanigans and General Tips...

I ended up doing a somewhat decent walk/jog today. Not great, but at least it was an hour. I had a few difficulties with lunch. I was planning to just eat nothing, as I honestly wasn't feeling hungry. And as I had only eaten one Boca Burger before my walk, I really wanted to run off that for the whole day. But we had just recently bought an indoor grill and my mom decided to try grilling up a whole slew of vegetables on it for lunch. I ended throwing away most of what she gave me while she was busy over the grill, but I still had to eat roughly 2-3 mushrooms and 9 pieces of asparagus. I was able to convince her to use no calorie (or no anything for that matter) cooking spray...but still. I really didn't need or want to eat. After we return home from our family outing, I'll do a whole bunch of crunches and squats and some weights. I'm just angry over the fact that this will make me shoot up to 119 lbs. or something ridiculous.

But anyways...

I thought I would share a random assortment of tips and advice for various aspects of torturing yourself bodily harm ahem, "becoming perfect". These tips and techniques have worked for me, but every body is different and every mindset is different. I have also researched extensively on various aspects of anorexia and will try to "debunk" or clarify a few points.

So onwards...

• One of the most important things to realize right out of the gate is that this is a mind game. If you aren't committed and willing to sacrifice, call it quits now. You will only end up hurting yourself and even worse, end up with no results. This is all about dedication, endurance, and most importantly willpower. Without these attributes, you will fail. I'm sure you feel that anorexia isn't a "choice", but I feel that in many respects: it is. You alone hold power over your body and actions, both the beneficial choices and the questionable ones. If you are going to do this, then do it, don't victimize and label yourself and live in a state of misery all the while garnering no results. In layman's terms: Put up or shut up.
• Sacrificing and changing your habits. This is going to be one of the most difficult things you will have to do, but once you've gotten into new habits, they will stick with you. The easiest way to hide and explain your lack of eating or unusual eating is to become anything from a pescatarian (a vegetarian who also eats fish/seafood) to raw foodist (a vegan who only eats raw food). Many anorexics hide their behavior and food choices with claims of being a vegetarian or vegan. While anorexia is not socially acceptable, being a vegetarian is, in fact in many cases it can be seen as "noble" and those you live or eat with will most likely not interfere. It is much easier to turn down cake and fatty meat dishes by being a vegan, than simply stating "I'm not hungry" all the time, and no one will suspect. The vegetarian/vegan diet is also much better for weight loss, as you are eating no fatty meats, no milk or dairy products (which can contain HUGE amounts of fat and calories), and best of all, 400 calories of vegetables will fill your stomach. 400 calories of meat? Not even a third. The choice is simple.
• Even if you don't decide to start a diet that restricts food groups, like vegetarianism, you will have to make sacrifices. No more junk food, no more pizza with thick layers of cheese, no more bowls of ice cream. Will it be torture at first? Of course. But no one is forcing you to do this. The more sacrifices you make, the easier this will be. Luckily I was always a very picky eater and so most foods that others enjoyed (like burgers, fries, soda, cheese, etc.) I have never liked, and so my sacrifices weren't quite as difficult as yours may be.
• As far as deciding on how many calories you will restrict yourself to: be careful. The lowest amount of calories the body needs to stay out of starvation mode can range from 900-1200 depending on your height, weight, and so forth. Once you dip below that range, your metabolism will slow down dramatically as your body tries to conserve fat. It thinks there is a food shortage and is attempting to burn as little fat as possible in order to make it stretch for a long period of time. (Think early humans searching for food in a drought or harsh environment, they need the fat for as long as possible to continue their search.) A lot of anorexics make limits that cut off right around or just under that point, which is the worst thing you can do. You will always feel hungry but the body will still hold onto your fat. Your caloric intake needs to be significantly lower, honestly, no higher than 300-400 depending on your starting size and weight. The lower the better. Even though your metabolism will still be slowed, the body will have no other choice but to rely on fat reserves, and thus, you lose weight.
• A myth that many anorexics struggle with is that the body will also or only eat muscle and organ tissue when your calorie consumption is so low. For the most part this is entirely untrue. From a common sense standpoint this doesn't even add up. Fat is your body's fuel source, why would it forgo it to eat your muscle, something you need to find food? And after extensive scientific research it was found that (for women) the body did not start consuming muscle matter and tissue until they had only 2-5% of their body fat left. For men it was even lower. Will the body eat at your muscles and organs? Yes, but only after it has used almost all of your fat reserves.
• Binging is probably the biggest issue you will face. The first thing to do is accept that it will happen. It will, I promise you it will. It may be only a 700 calories binge, or it may be a 3,000 calorie binge. The important thing is to realize what is happening and create solutions to solve the problem for the next time it happens. I could write an entire post on this subject alone (which I most likely will) but finding a way to manage your hunger and prevent binges is going to rely a lot on your own solutions. Everyone has different techniques that work best for them. What you can't do is simply give up once you realize what is happening and let a binge cycle form. It will only frustrate you and you will see no results.
• Restriction (in addition to exercise) works, purging in no way, shape, or form ever will. At best you will maintain your weight or become "skinny fat". This is why almost all bulimics are average weight, because your body starts to absorb food and its nutrients before it even hits your stomach. Using laxatives or any other snake oil remedy will not remove fat, it'll simply remove waste or partially digested food. You may see the scale go down a touch, or you may feel "better" that you got rid of food, but you're not truly losing the weight. It's tragically simple. So long as you eat less than your body burns, you will lose weight. You don't need any high cost pills or tricks to help. You alone are all that is needed. 

The most important points you can take away from that whole conglomeration of a post is this:

• You will be living in an almost constant state of hunger. Accept it.
• There is no sugar coating the fact that you will need to make changes and sacrifices.
• This is work. It is not fun, it is not a "fling". It is a lifestyle and it is going to be hard.
• You will trip and fall and there is nothing you can do about it. What you can do is get up and do better next time.
• It is possible. If you're willing to put in the effort you will see the results.

So there you go. Not a whole lot of information covered (I promise to do a binge post soon) but I thought it was good for "beginners" and those whose mindset may be in a rut. Its kind of aggravating reading anorexia blogs that read more like binge blogs...so I guess that's where the somewhat frustrated tone came from.

Well I'm off. Hoped this was useful or educational.

Tah.